The Fly in My Eye
Now Playing: Sugarcubes
Ok, I admit it, I'm a lazy bastard. I try not to be, but the overwhelming need to avoid things that irritate or frustrate me often gets the best of me. I hate birthday parties, most especially children's birthday parties. The preparation of needless diversions mixed with the fever-pitch of sugared-up kids strikes at a corner of my psyche that renders me incapable of calm. So, I avoid, preferring to critique the halfassed attempts of wannabe William Goldmans instead of spending the time shepherding children in the stead of my near crippled (so she claims) wife.

But it's over with now. Or is it?

The time between this entry and the previous was filled with the second draft of the Frankenstein adaptation, now called "Victor." I'm currently casting about for the idea fairy. I have plenty of ideas, but all lack the oomph that's needed to carry me through the tragicomic experience of writing a complete narrative. The screenplay is currently in the top ten on triggerstreet.com, so I've received some validation for the effort, not to mention the (mostly) kind reviews. I plan to send the script to at least one contest in the near future with hopes of at least placing.

Post Birthday Evil
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Ennio Morricone
Topic: Stuff
I bought a bottle of tequila on my b'day and spent two days drunk. A day and a half, but adding about ten hours of sleep in the middle and that's two. The day after was more like a meth come-down, a virtual lack of seratonin that made me really depressed. So I'm not drinking anymore, not for a very long time. My body isn't up to it and it makes me feel unbelievably bad for way too long. The tradeoff isn't worth it.

That said, I've been writing to catch up for the drunken lunacy of last week.

busy, busy...

Behind
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: nothing
Topic: Rewrites
I'm vastly behind on my rewrites for Frankenstein. No actual new scenes have been written nor have I rewritten any old scenes. I have been modifying the structure and enhancing characters, etc., e.i. outlining. Lots of new material, but no real computer time. The actual writing is the easy part, the stuff before is horribly tedious. But it's necessary to produce something that doesn't look like it was pounded out by an eight-year-old.

Though I've been working on a sunnier attitude, positive, hopeful and whatever, the financial reality of my not having a real job is creeping up on my family. My parents usually give me money for my birthday, never having had the slightest idea what I might actually want. The reality is, though, that I would likely have prefered the Martha Stewart bathroom set I might otherwise have gotten over the money that I'll probably have to spend on bills.

The dedication I've been able to put into writing has been positive. I really believe I'm doing the right thing and it was good that I took the time to focus on the dream. But now that the focus is there, I should find something to pay the bills.

Oh, monday's my birthday.

Frankenblog, day one
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Not Breathing
Topic: Whys and Wherefors
I quit therapy today, but I'm not about to give up the Zoloft(r). I don't eat babies or anything or masturbate in public, just a bit of social anxiety.

So why pursue a career in film if I have a fear of people? I like a challenge, actually. And movies. Obscure, foreign, character-driven and big, action-packed, star-driven films, for the same reason I've always loved them. I was maybe six when I saw Jaws with my dad and bolted from the seat, ran up the aisle and turned back, held spellbound, unable to leave despite the fear.

I'm working on an adaptation of Frankenstein, only the second I've attempted so far, and after taking the online Writer's Bootcamp class, I got back enough validation to prove to myself that I stand a chance. When the online portion's over, you take what you've learned and within the next two weeks pound the keys and turn out what is ostensibly a first draft of... something. Then you wait for the critique.

Writer's Bootcamp isn't cheap, not even the online course. But it's worth it. I was horrible with structure and have no problem with it now. Anyway, I got my script in on time and got a tentative critique date, which was cancelled by the person whose job it was to read the thing. Turned out he was going on vacation.

So, I wait. Patiently, for once. The very day I actually start to wonder when he'll call, he does and does so while my dad happened to be at our place (I'm married). He said he "liked it, actually." I giggled a bit at that 'cus my daughter loves to append everything with "actually." The actually critique was a few days later.

I assumed he was going to say "what a great job, you should give us more money and you can take our 2-year program." nope. He listed some problems he had and said he would talk to his boss and maybe have another pair of eyes look at it and if all turned out well on their side, they'd see about "going further." I don't know if those were the exact words, but the upshot of that was that if everyone took a shine to my paltry effort, they'd see about submitting it to agents. He said some other things, but even the suggestion of the possibility of maybe getting my stuff within ten feet of a real-live agent, well... the world went a bit fuzzy.

Maybe it was a shine, I don't know. I doubt it. They don't try to sell you anything at WBC. No books, or classes. This guy's been with me from the beginning of my contact with them. Not a single BS alarm throughout the whole process.

In other words, it was at least worthy of all the effort I've been putting into this "writing thing." and, in words other than that, I'm not kidding myself. So, if nothing, I have that.

I've done most of the work for the revision, and hopefully I can get back to him soon with something slightly better than the first draft.

....

Not sure what future entries will look like, sound like or smell like, so...

Wish me luck.